I am being punished for the presumptuousness of thinking this is going to be a good year for me. I am down to seeing only two of my top five musicians and I have now lost my phone. It’s ridiculous, I am not one of those people who is tied to there phone, I can go out without it, I can go hours without checking it, I’m always missing calls but now it has gone I feel lost without it.
Watched 3 movies after work last night and gave the fabulous tattoo table of Helen Highwater a coat of varnish- that might explain why I feel like the living dead today. I’m not a lover of the chick flick by any stretch of the imagination, give me a bit of gratuitous violence and some bloody gore and I’m a happy girl but one of the films I watched last night was Bride Wars (I hold Helen Highwater totally responsible for this), sadly despite the title it was not bridezillas going at each other with AK-47’s but it was actually quite watchable, cute and occasionally funny – I shock myself sometimes. It was of course totally predictable, I missed the very beginning but within 2 minutes I could tell you the end but hey, that’s chick flicks for you.
The next one was the Nicholas Cage’s remake of Wicker Man. I love Nicholas Cage, I think the man is a legend but despite his vast filmography he is a little challenged in the acting department. That doesn’t necessarily bother me and that is one of the many things you have to just let slide to embrace and love the genius of this movie. The original is a classic and no remake was ever going to surpass it so why not follow it up with a so bad it’s good version. It’s hard to choose my favourite moment, Nic Cage running around the woods dressed in a bear costume, pointing a gun and yelling “Step away from the bike (cycle)”, his strange flashback/hallucinations, every passing moment brings you another joyfully bad moment and I can’t help but for all it’s many, many, many flaws, adore this film!
The third film of the night was Big Stan. So you’ve heard of a Rom-Com right? Well this is a Rape-Com – that’s right folks a comedy about rape, prison rape to be more specific. I have never been a fan of it’s star Rob Schneider and I’ve never really been into this kind of comedy, in general I find them misogynistic, racist, or just plain stupid. The only Adam Sandler film I have ever enjoyed is Reign Over Me, I have never watched a Scary Movie or any of those other spoofs. I sat down to this with some pretty serious misgivings and guess what, I loved it.
Schneider plays Stan a real estate con who is convicted of fraud and sentenced to 3 to 5. His crooked lawyer gets his sentence delayed by 6 months and in this time paranoid of prison rape he hires “The Master” David Carradine to teach him martial arts and make him into a mean, lean, rape free machine. When Stan finally goes to jail he uses his skills proactively challenging the biggest most feared guy to a fight and eventually becomes the leader banning rape, uniting the gangs through the medium of music and encouraging peace and harmony throughout the prison. Ridiculous, yes, vulgar, yes, 90% based around fear of anal sex, yes. Genius, YES.