The reasons I need you in my life are as follows –
To protect me from demons, spiders, ghosts and home invaders and the other things I worry about when I wake at night.
To teach me to play poker – I can already bluff like a motherfucker!
To do the driving when I can’t be bothered.
So I can buy a car that I actually want and have someone to take car of the maintenance side of things.
To accompany me on the random outings that I feel the need to go on.
To be the brawn to my brains.